Surburban Life

This morning I was awakened by an annoying neighbor. My husband has nicknamed him "Bumpkus", after the infamous Bumpkus neighbors on A Christmas Story. When he first moved in I knew he was a strange sort as he proceeded to grind the bricks on his entire house and paint them orange. Then he proceeded to replace the windows in front, which is perfectly normal, but he replaced them both at odd angles. He proceeded to chop the tree down in front halfway, leaving a trunk (not a stump) but a trunk. And finally he removed all his grass with a rototill and did not replace it. It resembles a Dr. Seuss house now. Something you might find in a children's novel.

His latest activity involves car collecting. I wouldn't mind so much if he worked on one at a time, but he has managed to put 5 clunkers in his front yard, along with a camper shell trailer wedged in between the tree trunk and the crooked windows of the house. This morning he was under one of his clunker cars grinding away at 6am. He wears earphones. The rest of the neighbors have to endure this noise for hours on end. It's much like the constant drip of a faucet that causes mind-numbing histeria if listened to without any break.

It never ceases to amaze me that every neighborhood always has one noisemaker. We are blessed with a plethora of annoying sounds. A barking dog that is tied up outside and yaps all day and night. A house filled with gangster rap loving teenagers and their low rider cars that blast the music all hours of the night. And now Bumpkus, who seems to find pleasure in rising early and cursing us with his constant grinding, drilling and sanding.

The joys of suburban life...
Walden Fan

PS Now I know why Thoreau went to the woods!