Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Today would have been my grandmother's birthday. We shared the same birthday and every year I would forget hers. I'm not sure why. But I did. You would think that it would have been the easiest birthday to remember, because we shared the same day. But every year I would call her a few days later and plead stupidity because I forgot.

The funny thing is, that since she's been gone (almost 20 years) I always remember. And it makes me a little sad. Sad because I didn't value her enough while she was here to make it a priority to at least remember her birthday. I wish I could get back all those missed opportunities, but I can't. So here, today, in my own way, I'm letting her know that I miss her. And if I could, I'd give her a huge birthday hug and kiss.

Happy Birthday Grandmother (give Mom a hug for me today too...I miss you both)
Walden Fan

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Struggle

"For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do,
that I do not practice;
but what I hate, that I do...For the good that I will to do, I do not do;
but the evil I will not to do, that I practice."
Romans 7:15, 19

It's the classic struggle we all face every day. Our human nature, apart from God and His influence, tends to veer toward the dark side. We want to do what's right, but sometimes we find it hard. Our sin nature pulls us in and drags us into behaviors and actions that we know are wrong and harmful to our body, our soul and our spirit.

Every day we have to choose: will we obey God or will we obey our sinful nature. That nature that only brings us down and pull us away from our true purpose in this life. The path of righteousness is not easy. But the rewards we will find in this life and in eternity, make it worth the struggle.

Texas Fan

Monday, March 23, 2009


"If I could find a real life place that makes me feel like Tiffanys
I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name"
-Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffanys

My daughter and I have a thing we do. When we travel to a new city, we look for a Tiffanys store. It's tradition. Our very first visit to Tiffanys was in New York City on our first trip there after her high school graduation. We had to go. That movie was our favorite Hepburn classic and we wanted to see for ourselves if it was true. Could Tiffanys possibly be as magical a place as it seemed in the movie?

"Nothing bad could ever happen at Tiffanys...it's the ONLY cure for the mean reds!" And you know, Holly was right. Over the years, Tiffanys has been that place for us. In New York. In Boston. In Paris. In London. In Dallas. In Las Vegas. In San Antonio. They are there waiting to wisk us away into a place where all is right with the world and nothing bad ever happens. When we walk through those doors, as we have so many times, we smile and remember that first time we entered the one on 5th Avenue. It was one of those moments that you never forget. A moment we shared. A moment that reminds me of how wonderfully simple life can be at times.

Wishing I were at Tiffanys tonight,
Walden Fan

Friday, March 20, 2009


Our words can encourage, discourage, destroy, uplift, hurt, enlighten, help, and most importantly, be misinterpreted or ignored. How do we avoid having our words perceived in a negative way? How do we say what we mean and mean what we say? How do we get those people who mean so much to us to truly listen to what we are saying?

Because honestly, I'm wondering. Sometimes we talk until we are blue in the face and those closest to us don't listen. Then other times we say just one thing in a vulnerable moment and it gets taken out of context and blown out of proportion. How can you commit years to a relationship and that person not know you? Is it because you never said what you felt? Or is it because they just didn't listen?

I'm just wondering...
Walden Fan

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Basement People

One of my mother's favorite books during her long battle with cancer was "Balcony People" by Joyce Landorf. It wasn't a very long book, but it became priceless to her during those four years and after she passed away, I inherited it. In a moment of sentimentality, I passed that book on to someone. Today, I wish I had it. I sure could use it's words of encouragement.

The premise of the book was this--we all have two kinds of people in our lives: basement people and balcony people. The basement people spend their lives dragging us down into their pits of despair, discouraging us, throwing cold water on our dreams, and for the most part, making us miserable.The balcony people are the ones who encourage us to dream, believe in ourselves, and boost our self esteem by cheering us on. According to the author, it takes about 20 balcony people to counteract the affects of one basement person. And...we all tend to have more basement people in our lives than balcony people.

One of my friends likens those basement people in our lives to albatrosses around our necks, weighing us down. I like that analogy. I know that's how I've felt at times. And when you feel that way the hardest thing to do is look up in the balcony and see those cheering. The Bible speaks of these people in Hebrews as a "cloud of witnesses" who have been there, done that, and are in heaven cheering us on to "run with perseverance the race marked out for us". I know my mother, father and great aunt are standing in that balcony in heaven cheering for me every day.

So even though I feel dragged down at times, I know that there are those in my life and those who have gone before me, cheering me on.

Looking up,
Walden Fan

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Are we slaves to technology?

We went to the movies this weekend and two teenagers spent the first 30 minutes of the show texting. After having to stare at the bright screens in front of us, someone went to the management and they were asked to leave. It never ceases to amaze me that people can't turn their cellphones off for 90 minutes and watch a movie uninterrupted.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel like a slave to all this new technology. We can't go anywhere without our trusty cellphones. We can't turn the computers off for 24 hours. We have to notify everyone of what we are doing on Twitter and Facebook. We have to check our emails every morning or our day has not begun. And heaven forbid if our computers crash. We are all out of whack until it is fixed.

There are days like today that I long for the days when I didn't have an internet connection, email account, Facebook page, or cellphone. The funny thing is that now that I have them, I think I can't live without them.

Here's a question for you: is technology helping us or has it become our master?

Friday, March 13, 2009

When you hear those words

On Wednesday evening my phone rang and when I looked at the incoming number I saw it was my daughter. She said, "Mom, I have some news." I have to tell you I wasn't expecting to hear the next words that came out of her mouth, "I'm engaged!". Wow.

I can't tell you the emotions that came over me at that moment. I was excited. I was happy. I was overwhelmed. I was even sad. Excited because every parent wants their child to find their soulmate. Happy because I could hear the excitement in her voice. Overwhelmed because my mind rushed ahead to all the preparation, planning and expense involved with a wedding. Sad because my Mom and Dad weren't here to share this moment with me.

When your kids are born, especially your daughters, you dream about that moment. The moment when they find love and are so excited about their future. The reactions I've received have been mixed from family and friends. Some said, "it's about time". Others were overjoyed. And still others were skeptical it would happen. I wondered how you can take the joy out of this moment with such skepticism and negativity. But I guess when you've lived life sometimes you don't have so much hope in true love.

For me, hearing my daughter tell me all about the proposa
l and how "different" she feels made me realize that love does still exist in its purest form and she has truly found her soulmate.

The happy couple

Proud mother,
Walden Fan

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Surburban Life

This morning I was awakened by an annoying neighbor. My husband has nicknamed him "Bumpkus", after the infamous Bumpkus neighbors on A Christmas Story. When he first moved in I knew he was a strange sort as he proceeded to grind the bricks on his entire house and paint them orange. Then he proceeded to replace the windows in front, which is perfectly normal, but he replaced them both at odd angles. He proceeded to chop the tree down in front halfway, leaving a trunk (not a stump) but a trunk. And finally he removed all his grass with a rototill and did not replace it. It resembles a Dr. Seuss house now. Something you might find in a children's novel.

His latest activity involves car collecting. I wouldn't mind so much if he worked on one at a time, but he has managed to put 5 clunkers in his front yard, along with a camper shell trailer wedged in between the tree trunk and the crooked windows of the house. This morning he was under one of his clunker cars grinding away at 6am. He wears earphones. The rest of the neighbors have to endure this noise for hours on end. It's much like the constant drip of a faucet that causes mind-numbing histeria if listened to without any break.

It never ceases to amaze me that every neighborhood always has one noisemaker. We are blessed with a plethora of annoying sounds. A barking dog that is tied up outside and yaps all day and night. A house filled with gangster rap loving teenagers and their low rider cars that blast the music all hours of the night. And now Bumpkus, who seems to find pleasure in rising early and cursing us with his constant grinding, drilling and sanding.

The joys of suburban life...
Walden Fan

PS Now I know why Thoreau went to the woods!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Queen of the Moral Majority

This past weekend, on a fan site that I frequently visit and comment on, someone gave me the title "The Queen of the Moral Majority". I'm most definitely sure it was not a compliment. It was a bash at my attempt to try and provide some much needed common sense to a "girls gone wild" event online.

It seems no matter how hard so many of us try, they just don't get it. They don't understand that you can fantasize all you want in private, but to put those fantasies online, you open yourself and the person you are fantasizing about to attack from the media. Unfortunately, it's a vicious world out there and many journalists are looking for any and everything to use against persons with integrity. They want the scoop: that story that will get them noticed. Even if it's a story about a group of well-intentioned women expressing their love for a male celebrity.

When I think about all the bashing I got over the weekend for posting a blog about respect, I realize that they actually paid me a compliment. I'll take that title and wear it proudly. After all, someone has to be the voice of reason. Someone has to tell them to "put a sock in it". They may not listen or change their behavior, but at least I (and several others) spoke the truth and tried, however futile, to stand up for what was right. I learned many years ago that when you stand for what is right, you should always expect to be met with opposition. It comes with the territory.

Wearing the title proudly,
Walden Fan (aka The Queen of the Moral Majority)