This week has started off rather odd for me. For some reason I woke up feeling a bit sad. Everything all day was bothering me. Then I suddenly realize what might be wrong--I miss my son. This week he will turn 30 and while it might be a milestone for him, it feels like a milestone for me as well.
Sons are a unique breed. From the time they are born they are moving toward independence. And while every parent wants their children to grow and move forward, it's hard with each life passage: school, graduation, the military, moving away from home, college and final independence. Even while he was in the Marines he phoned home periodically and checked in with us on a regular basis. At several points throughout his quest for independence he moved back home and I grew accustomed to having him around.
This last phase of complete independence (and much needed on his part) has been the hardest of all for me. I miss our chats, and debates. I miss cooking together and talking about life during the process. I'm sure there are many reasons why I rarely see him any more. He has his friends and his life and works more than 40 hours a week. His life is busy and there's little time for much else.
It's hard to believe that 30 years have flown by this fast. It was only yesterday he was playing with GI Joes in his bedroom and dreaming of being in the military one day. It was only yesterday that he talked about going to college in Boston. Both dreams came true for him and I'm sure he has even more he has yet to see fulfilled.
So even though I might be sad today and miss having him in my daily life, I'm also proud of what he has accomplished and pray for him to find his place in this life and have all his future dreams, goals and aspirations come true.
Happy Birthday Ryan,
Mom (Walden Fan)