Thoughts inside my head

I was browsing at my favorite bookstore today, and I came across this quote by Ernest Hemingway: "The writer must write what he has to say. Not speak it." Needless to say, I can relate. Those thoughts inside my head whirl around and around until I have to get them out. It's what I've always loved to do. Years ago it was poetry; intensely emotional and extremely passionate. Those words inside my head were clamoring to get out.

The problem: There are so many words at random moments that when I can't just stop and write. So I jot them down on to stickers, in the notes on my phone, on my laptop, and in a notepad I carry in my purse. And then, once they are down, I quickly forget about them. It's as if once they are written somewhere, the thoughts are gone. And therein lies the problem--trying to gather all those disjointed thoughts into a completely finished work that makes sense. Or even finishing at least one of those written creations and putting the final touches and saying, "The End".

Perhaps one day in the not so distant future I'll actually finish that book I started in 2006. Or dust of that collection of poetry and get it published. And perhaps one day I'll finish that book about breast cancer that seems to have taken on a life of its own. I wonder if Thoreau ever felt this way at Walden Pond when he was jotting down his thoughts. "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation." Yes...I believe he did.

Perhaps one day,
Walden Fan

Writing

Today...I need to write. It's an outlet for my emotions; and today my emotions need an outlet. Why? Because I'm perplexed. I consider myself to be a good communicator. I can usually take words and use them to formulate an argument, explanation or get my point across. At the very least, once they are read they are usually understood for what they are meant to express. Today. Not so much. Today I tried as hard as I could to write the words my heart was feeling, and for some reason, I came up short. I've been coming up short quite often lately with my words, and I'm not exactly sure how to fix it or change things.

I feel like Helen Keller. Trying to communicate and yet unable to because there's a barrier there that's keeping my words from penetrating into the heart. Each time I try, I fail. And each time I fail it evokes anger. It appears that the barrier will not come down, so I'm faced with failure and an unresolved conflict.

Frustrated,
Walden Fan